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  • Mike of Lindemann Chimney Service Interviews Santa

    Mike of Lindemann Chimney Service Interviews Santa

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    Recently Mike Ruehrdanz of Lindemann Chimney Service ran into Santa while cleaning a chimney on the north shore of Chicago. As it turns out, Santa was checking out chimney sizes and which chimneys were clean so he knew which parents might get naughty or nice gifts. Mike took this once in a lifetime opportunity to interview Santa.

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    Mike: So Santa, I’ve always wondered, how do you get up and down the chimneys?

    Santa: At each chimney I say “Ho ho ho!!!” to push the air out of my lungs. Then with a jump I slide my quivering mass down the chimney.

    Mike: What is the strangest thing you have ever found in a chimney?

    Santa: Have you seen the photos with me and the animals? These are critters that I rescue when I find them in the chimney. Squirrels, birds, raccoons, etc. Just like in the pictures, I feed and adopt these critters.

    Mike: I’ve got to know. Me and the sweeps have debated this time and again and I have to know. What is your favorite type of cookie?

    Santa: I love all cookies! One of my new favorites is the chimney cake. I understand there’s a place in Chicago that makes them called “Chimney Cake Island”.

    Mike: I’ve heard that some people leave you healthy snacks instead of cookies.

    Santa: Yeah, some can’t get past thinking that I need healthier snacks. But maybe they live a pretty bland life and I leave them educational toys or puzzles.

    Mike: What about the milk? Wouldn’t you rather have eggnog?

    Santa: Ho ho ho!! While I like eggnog I still have a sleigh to drive and I never drink eggnog while I’m on the road. Mrs. Claus made me promise to drive responsibly.

    Mike: So what kind of milk do you like?

    Santa: Any kind of milk will do. After all, I have to keep my strength up. In some parts of the world I get rice milk. In others, real fresh cow’s milk. This way I never get tired of the same thing.

    Mike: What is the hottest new toy this year?

    Santa: One of the biggest request I’ve received is for an iPAD 2. This mostly comes from the tweens and adults. It’s kind of sad. Some parts of the world the request is for food, housing or better health for a loved one. I always try to fulfill every wish to the best of my ability. When it comes to requests for someone sick I turn that over to the Big Guy. The best solution for those situations is prayer.

    Mike: So do you really have reindeer that pull your sleigh?

    Santa: Reindeer are the best! Instead of gauging motors by horse power they should have used reindeer power. Have you ever seen a horse fly? I didn’t think so.

    Mike: Do you have any words of wisdom for children and adults?

    Santa: It’s important during this time of year to keep in mind the real meaning of Christmas. NativityWebsiteIt’s become so commercialized and I’ve become such an icon that people forget the real meaning of Christmas. It goes centuries back to Bethlehem and the Christ Child that was born and placed in a manger. In these days when people are focused on the latest techno gadgets and talking dolls it’s important to remember that there are people out there who will spend this Christmas on the streets or in huts similar to Mary, Joseph and the Christ Child’s first Christmas. It’s up to us to care for these people who often either can’t care for themselves or are in a situation where they don’t have the opportunities that you do in the USA. So remember the less fortunate. AND there’s still time to get put on my nice list. So help your folks and your fellow man and see what kind of spin it puts on your holiday season. I guarantee it will be jolly!

    Mike: That’s a really important message. I have one last question. Does Rudolf really have a red nose?

    Santa: Where do you think they got the idea for lighthouses? Of course he has a red nose! Although I’ve also added the ultra ion sensitizationalized bright beam light for those extra foggy or snowy nights. It snaps on the front of his harness.

    Mike: Any last words for the folks?

    Santa: Ho!! Ho!! Ho!! Merry Christmas! And a jolly good new year!! Get those chimneys cleaned or I’ll put you on the naughty list!

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